This is a long one but I felt like the context was important.

I grew up hearing about how I had curly hair as a baby, but after getting my head shaved as a toddler (it's a tradition where I'm from) my hair grew back "straight". My whole childhood I had straight-ish, long, fairly thick hair, which had a tendency to become "frizzy". After a severe bout of illness as a teen, I lost 80% of my hair due to the medications. Since then I've had very low density, fine hair (thin enough for the scalp to show in a large cowlick at my crown).

In 2012 I cut it to shoulder length for the first time because of how thin it had gotten. This chop was when a vague sort of curl pattern started to appear, but it wasn't consistent, and I didn't realize it needed curl care so I kept treating it like it was straight. And it lingered in a sort of a 2a-2b limbo with very flat roots, straight mids, haphazardly curly/wavy ends. It eventually grew to a mid-back/ near-waist length. In 2020 the curls started getting a little more pronounced and I decided to hack it to a bob and try out CGM.

This was when they started looking like actual intentional curls, but the haircut was NOT for me and I walked around like Lord Farquaad for 3 years before deciding to grow it out again. CGM also didn't work very well for me in because the amount and number of products weighed down my fine hair. I eventually brought it down to just curl cream and had messy 2c-3a curls with a lot of frizz while it slowly grew out. Mid 2024 I started seeing some coils and for the next 12 months they got more pronounced but still frizzy as ever. FINALLY in September 2025, I discovered things like mousse, protein-moisture balance, and brush styling.

I finally had somewhat defined coils from root to ends. And that was great for about 5 minutes, before I then realized that with the definition came the stringiness. My hair is healthier than it has been for a long time, it is still the same density as before, but now, thanks to the coil pattern, it looks a lot more sparse and stringy at the ends, and this is really hurting my feelings lol.

It's been over a decade of trial and error and I'm losing my mind. On my BEST hair day, it looks decent at the front and like a bunch of rat tails from the back. Any help would be so so so welcome. My ideal is a mid-back length of fluffy, healthy curls that hold for maybe 3-4 days (I'm not looking for weeklong curls), do not frizz so excessively that they look dull, and do not mat at the nape of my neck within hours of washing. I am willing to sacrifice definition at the altar of volume as I do not have the density and must make up for it somehow.

This is my current routine :

* L'oreal Hyaluron Moisture Shampoo
* L'oreal Hyaluron Moisture Conditioner
* Curlzmoist Curl Cream
* Curl Up Ultra Defining Hair Gel
* Wella EIMI Boost Bounce Mousse

Weekly - rosemary oil scalp massage. Alternate weeks - argan oil moisture mask // pea protein mask. Monthly - clarifying shampoo. I use a satin scarf when I sleep, and spray with water to refresh on the rare occasion when it's salvageable.

Please help a girl out!!😭Any advice on how to make the ends look full again like they used to when they weren't coily? Should I brush them out? Is there a way to make them wavy again instead of coily? Will that even help? Is there \*anything\* I can do so I don't need to choose between curly roots and full ends? Thank you so much in advance. 🙏

Long post : I'm exhausted and need help. Low density coils with stringy ends that get matted and barely last 48 hours are making me cry on the daily.