Party coming up and I’m not invited because I’m trans

So my partners family member is having a surprise party and my partner has said I’m not invited because she doesn’t want to have to explain our relationship to friends of the family. Basically they know of me when I identified as my old self and she doesn’t want to explain that to people. I totally get it but sometimes I feel like she’s hiding me away from people. I got really agitated how she worded it the other day, because she came across rude and it was as if she was embarrassed. I basically said don’t worry it’s cool but now I think what does she even say when I’m not there or present does she fob people off. I can’t seem to get it off my mind about it so need some advice on how to process this because it’s never happened before