First telling people then spiraling?

Im 31. Realizing I was trans last week has been one of the hardest realizations I’ve come across.

Some moments I feel so good relating to myself with my new name and imagining others doing so.

I told my friends and they were supportive and we also rolled with the awkwardness of getting used to a new name.

I could tell I preferred the new name versus the old name. I think I liked he/him pronouns, but being called a “man” felt new I don’t think I like it but I guess it needs more time.

Idk how much of this is disphoria but I have social anxiety which is why I think it took me so long to get to this point in the first place. After I tell people my mind goes on overdrive as a protection response and I am thinking everyone hates me, I made everything super weird, also it’s not actually true why did you do that.

Did anyone else struggle with these oscillating feelings from positive negative when you first came out?