How do I know

I’ve been strt for 22 years. I really feel like I’ve gaslight myself into thinking im bi. I have all masculine hobbies masculine adhd vibes and straight thoughts and feelings. This is coming from me thinking a lot about it. I’m kinda quiet and soft spoken so I think ppl assume I might be or that I’m just too nice. I also think I overporned myself and I’ve started using toys when mastorbating I fantasize in the mornings about gay sex and I used to feel guilty now I feel comfortable with the idea of bottoming and have looked in secret for a top but I keep feeling this ick towards men and the whole situation almost like I’m not attracted and I get scared. But I love being the center of attention showing off my body and like acting gay asf sometimes I get really turned on. idk what to do this is turning into an identity crisis