My boyfriend didn’t want me around for Easter when he knows I would be alone as a result. Are we over?

Hey - this is the first time I’ve ever posted on Reddit so please be kind, but I don’t know who else to talk to. Also, I’m sorry for such a long post, I just need to get everything out there. So, I (21 non binary) and Theo (22M (fake name)) have been dating for 3.5 years. This is the first relationship either of us have been in and every first you can have in a relationship we have shared together. We are each other’s first kiss, first love and have shared every part of ourselves together for years (including…physical stuff).

So some background: I’m originally from a small town in BC, Canada and Theo is from a small town in PEI, Canada. For those of you who don’t know, these are on opposite sides of the country. We both moved to NB, Canada for university (a Maritime province in the east) and met when living in the same university residence. I moved across the country to get away from my toxic family situation and only semi knew the few distant relatives that live here (only at family reunions, etc.). He is very close with his family and they have a great family dynamic.

For context: ever since we started dating, we have visited his family together for reading weeks, Thanksgiving, Easter, and he even flew across the country with me this year to meet my family for Christmas. I also lived with his family for 4 months one summer to spend time with him before I moved to Japan for 5 months. He’s asked for some alone time before to play video games or to spend 1 on 1 time with a family member before, and I’ve been ok with that, but this is the first time he told me I wasn’t welcome. He also didn’t tell me that I wasn’t going until about week before, while my mother(52F) was visiting, who heard some of our conversations through our thin walls and has since reported back to my dad (52M) and my sister (18F). He let me talk about Easter for almost a month before it was made clear to me that I wouldn’t be coming. He also doesn’t understand why this bothers me so so much, which makes everything harder.

When I was 7, I made a list of qualities I wanted in a partner (I’m bi), and he checked every single box. We have had healthy communication and he has helped me heal from past family traumas. He always tells me he’s proud of me and that he loves me no matter what, even when I don’t think my accomplishments are important or I think I’m unworthy. This is the first major major thing has come up that has me questioning everything.

So, here it is. Our relationship has seemingly been turned around and now I’m questioning if we have any kind of future together. We’ve talked for years about our future wedding, where we want to go on our honeymoon, what kind of house we should get, what we should name our kids, etc. Now, I can just feel it all fading away and it hurts my soul. I love this man so much and wanted to spend my life with him but everything seems to be falling apart right now. We can’t even have a productive conversation about why this bothers me so much because he just says he doesn’t get why telling me to stay behind hurt so bad. I have spent the whole long weekend alone, feeling numb and not being able to go do anything besides church outside of the house because everything is closed in this Christian town and I’m broke as frick because I’m a university student.

We’ve already been trying to figure out how we’re going to work in the future because we are going to be doing very different things for the next few years. I’m staying in NB for another year to get another degree and Theo’s moving back to PEI (in his parent’s house) to get a certificate and start working as an engineer. After my next degree, I might be moving back to BC to pay off my student loans and be closer to family in case I need any help, but I’m also planning on moving back to Japan as soon as I can. Theo and I talked about where we wanted to travel to and live before we got together and Japan was at the top of both of our lists. Now, he doesn’t know if he even wants to leave the maritimes, let alone the country. I don’t want to be trapped in a small town in Canada, unable to live my own life when we’re so close to his family, and I have so many other places I want to visit and live in, some that Theo doesn’t even want to visit for vacation. I know that our relationship has essentially been destined to fail since the beginning, but it all feels so much more real now that we’re going to be finishing school and no longer living together. Plus, with me not being allowed around for Easter, it feels like he walked out on any kid of future for us when he left town for Easter.

Am I over reacting? Are we over? Is there any chance of us working out and sharing our lives together?