I(22M) feel so lost. I feel like everything I do is wrong. What am I supposed to do?

I've been staring at this screen for 30 minutes not knowing how to start. I’m 22, male, and I feel so lost. Honestly, I’m too embarrassed to ask anyone I know. My whole life, people have told me I’m too nice and too fragile, and I’ve realized they’re right. I don’t know how to make decisions, even the simple ones. I find myself daydreaming about meeting someone real(a partner or a friend) who will just tell me what to do and how to act. I feel like a blank slate, and I’m so tired of making mistakes. The truth is, everyone I try to befriend, male or female, ends up deceiving me. I give them everything(my time, my heart, my effort) but they just bully me and control me. The weirdest part? I feel good when they do it. But then I get hurt later. Is there something wrong with my brain? Am I broken for wanting to give up my freedom just to feel safe and 'directed'? I’m so tired and I don’t know what I want anymore. Maybe I just want to feel loved like everyone else. I don’t know if this is a common feeling or if I’m just weak. Sorry for taking your time to read this. I hope I didn't bother anyone. Thank you all