Pregnant…. Again

I feel like I’ve lost myself, my mind doesn’t feel like mine anymore. I had a missed miscarriage in January (first baby). Just found out last week that I am pregnant again. I haven’t had a period since my miscarriage so I was surprised. I am excited but it’s like everytime I start to get the excited feeling, my brain shuts it down. I feel like I can’t let myself get too excited because then I’ll lose my baby again but I can’t ignore it either because then I feel guilty for not being excited. I feel like a lunatic. I’m only 4w4d if I tracked correctly. First appointment isn’t for a few more weeks. My nerves are a wreck. How am I supposed to feel? Idk what to do if it happens again.