i’m not sure if staying is hurting me more than leaving

hi, i really need some support and perspective right now because i feel overwhelmed and honestly a bit lost.

i’m in a wlw relationship, and recently my partner told me that she’s not fully sure about us anymore. she said she still cares about me and that what we have is real, but she’s confused, not fully healed from past experiences, and doesn’t want to be unfair to me.

instead of breaking up completely, she asked if we could slow things down and stay as friends for now while she figures herself out (she’s planning to talk to her therapist soon).

i agreed, and we set some boundaries like not doing “couple things” anymore. but even with that, it still hurts. i feel like i’m stuck in this in-between space where we care about each other, but there’s no clarity about where we’re going.

what makes it harder is that she still shows appreciation and says i’m important to her, and that i understand her in a way others don’t. so part of me wants to stay because i care about her a lot. but another part of me is scared i’m just going to end up hurting myself more by staying.

i also came from a previous situationship that was really traumatic for me, so i think this kind of uncertainty is triggering that fear again.

i don’t want to leave her, but staying feels painful too.

i guess i just want to ask:

- has anyone been in a similar situation?

- how do you know when staying is no longer healthy for you?

- is giving her time the right thing to do, or am i just putting myself in a position to get hurt more?

please be kind, i’m really trying to process everything and not lose myself in the situation, thank you.