Help

I am empty inside. I feel like my friends hate me, like my family hates me and like my teachers hate me. I have felt like this for years. I am 16 now and want to dig a knife into my neck. I have 3 friends who dont feel like friends. they push me away, farther everyday. Every time all my family has a ”night”. We play cards against humanity (it’s my family’s favourite game so we end up playing it all the time) I feel like it’s a game just to make me feel stupid. Everyone targets me with HEAVY amounts of passive aggressive words, it hurts my feelings. My mental health is F$&KED in the shredder. I cant focus in class because my “fellow classmates” CANT SHUT THEIR POT HOLES.Then I get in trouble because I didn’t focus in class I can’t focus because ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO FOCUS. I don’t feel comfortable in my school, home, room, bed, and skin. I feel like all my teachers think I’m weak, dumb, fat and slow. I worked in a group project, did half the work, MY PORTION WAS CLEAN, I HAD GOOD INFORMATION ON IT and I got a C 🫠. My friend had half the information it was less elegant and sorted AND GOT an A🙂. half the mark was on how good it looked. I am fat, weak, ugly and just want to live. But I can’t because my whole life with everyone is a race to the end. I have 5-6 hours of sleep when I should be getting at least 8, 2-3 some nights. I am starting to get paranoid, I feel like people are watching me looking at me when I sleep. I don’t feel safe anywhere and just want someone to tell me things are going to be alright. I have no one to go to that I am comfortable talking to. You don’t need to care just tell me things will okay. People tell me my future will be great. I don’t want a future. ”You should start work’in out for the ladies” What ladies would what me?

”Your not that bad looking” Yes I am.

”your funny” When was the last time I made you laugh?

“Your nice to be around“ No I am not.

I don’t wanna be here anymore and I can tell people think the same, even my bus driver hates me.