Desperately need FFS but can‘t afford it

I’ve only been on HRT for a year, but HRT doesn’t change bones and I haven’t gotten facial fat redistribution either so my face still looks the exact same.

I was cursed with an extremely masculine facial bone structure… Caveman brow bone, roman/hooked nose, protruding cheekbones, gaunt cheeks, long midface, Chad jawline, massive chin and huge Adam’s apple… There’s literally not a single facial feature of mine that isn’t hopelessly masculine.

I even tried gaining weight because when I posted my face, people told me to gain weight since my cheeks are so gaunt and me being skinny did not help with my face looking so bony. But all the fat that I gained went to my chin, and my cheeks have stayed just as gaunt. If anything I look even more masculine now…

And I can’t afford FFS… And the longer I’m on HRT, the more I realize that HRT isn’t doing anything and that I’ll never even come close to resembling a woman.

I struggle with extreme envy of trans women who get lucky and pass early on and I get so depressed everyday unless I try to convince myself that I’m okay with being a man and try to distract myself with escapism…

I don’t know what to even do anymore. I just want to not exist…

(And yes, before someone tells me to try makeup, I already have and it didn’t work.)