TIFU by talking to the girl with neon green pants

I (M27) have been married to my wife (F35) for 5 years we can call her Jessica. Ik the first red flag I ignored is the giant age gap. things are like a rollercoaster in our relationship. Sometime things are ok and other times, I feel regret, loneliness, sadness. We met at work. We worked at Amazon during Covid. She seemed cute, she had neon green pants on so I pursued her. Everything happened extremely fast after that with in 2 months we spent every seconds together took 3 road trips plus there was a lot of messing around then she got pregnant! She was awesome at first (during the road trips and messing around). It is worth mentioning she did have a daughter and she claimed she took care of her 2 nephews i say claimed because i met/seen them a hand full of times the first 7 months of knowing them. She told me her 2 brothers passed away and she stepped up and now has full custody of them. During the pregnancy I moved in and Jessica took maternity leave. I then started paying all the bill by myself around $1400/m. This is about the time she turned cold toward me. I asked friends, family and even googled it everyone said that it was normal for her to hate me. Before she gave birth I asked her to marry me. She was going to be the mother of my child and I wanted to start a life with her. The day son was born my mother passed way. That probably another reason I stayed after moving back from college i moved with my mom but was always out with Jessica. I wish i spent more with my mom but i like to think my son has a piece of my mom in him. After that I sulked with grief and cared for my first born as much as I could. We ended up taking over my mom’s 2 bed apartment because Jessica lease was up and my mom apartment was significantly cheaper about $800/m. I figured we can save a lot with the decrease rent. Jessica and I ended up getting eloped a few weeks after my mom passed (Jessica idea). This is when she started having her nephews 100% of the time.

So I went from a 21 year old fresh out of school to a husband with 4 kids in about 1 year. After this she got increasingly more bitter and “miserable” according to her I ruined her life because she’s used to a better life style and had a plan but now everything is on hold. I financially took/take care of everything till this day. I been working harder and harder to satisfy Jessica and our family lifestyle needs.

Skip a head to today Jessica gave birth to another child and is now pregnant with our 3rd child. We moved in to a bigger house, I’m in a better position in my career, i give Jessica money to have and I believe we are way better off than we were 5 years ago and I’m grateful yet I’m not content and want to give my family more. But I feel like my action and hard work isn’t appreciated. I love my kids and Jessica but she disrespect me now. I don’t want to come home from work sometimes. I do see that we are complete opposites, she tells me she’s a “Realistist”. When I tell her things are getting better they just take time to manifest but nonetheless i am workin toward a better future for us. Her response is that she only likes to think about the near future and will believe it when it happens. She told me she grew up getting everything she wanted and living a big house. While I grew up with my mom seeing eviction notices on the door and even lived in a homeless shelter for a short time with my mom I then stayed at my brothers home in his laundry room for all of high school. So it goes without saying everything I have now I’m grateful. It’s hard really hard most days I feel horrible she openly tells me she don’t like me she tells me never thought of marrying someone like me. She says I breath loud, I eat too loud, she call me childish for trying to joke with her. She even fat shame me and tells me I gross her out. Given I was around 175 when we met muscular build now I’m 225. She ignore me try to yell at me and she tells me to just leave her alone. I honestly hates it.

I know she’s over simulated she’s a stay at home mom and the kids are crazy. But I don’t think that’s an excuse to openly disrespect me. She does have bipolar depression. I try to give her breaks tell her to go do something like get her nails done or hang out with family or something but she doesn’t want to. I suggested consulting but she says she has common sense and think consulting is stupid. She told me she likes animals it will help with her mood swing so…… 10 ducks 5 birds 2 lizards, 2 mice 7 cats and a dog later I’m as miserable as ever and still trying to make things work. She still hates me. I have flexibility with work and I try to spend time with the kids takes them on walks/bike rides or just play with them outside to give her breaks as much as possible. I guess I could try to do it thing more often. Yet the other day she goes off on me for confronting her. I told her I don’t like her rudeness, her attitude and all I try to do is love her. She tells me I should just leave and find someone I don’t complained about. She tells me love isn’t enough she want to be left alone and all I do is repeat my self (I’ve try to have this conversation before and it didn’t help hence I’m repeating myself) She tell me she doesn’t like the house we rent and don’t care I pay for everything. She say we should go our separate ways and she’s going to take the kids. We argue more because I objected I love my kids and cant imagine not being with them. The next day she calmed down but Im rethinking my whole life. I have no savings my kids are momma boys and I’m thinking I should start saving now to get to a better position and then get a divorce in the near future. I will still give her money as she needs it but I will be saving enough to make a transition comfortably.

TL;DR

TIFU by marrying a girl with neon green pants at Amazon. I got her pregnant 3 times after she repeatedly showed me red flags. Now I’m planning a divorce after wasting most of my 20’s