Ok. So I am currently in a \*very\* unique situation that I have had to turn to the stars to fully grapple with. I apologize in advance if this seems like i’m venting. 

One: my venus placement and influence. My is venus in Aquarius, and despite never really being in a relationship, I felt like I understood it.  My current predicament is that I think I am now involved with a man thirteen years older than me? I always thought I would feel fireworks and ‘love’, but I really feel a strange sense of detachment regarding this situation. For background, I am currently overseas, and met this former monk who I guess took interest in me from day one. I kind of got the vibe he liked me, but being a physically attractive individual, it wasn’t something that felt super out of the ordinary. I do admit it was a novel feeling for that kind individual with a monastic background showing feeling for me. We ended up being friends, or at least I assumed. I feel kind of stupid, but I let him take me to this remote area next to a beautiful lake at night under the full moon in libra ( which is funnily his moon sign). We’re sitting next to each other talking, and I start to realize that this maybe wasn’t the best idea since theres nobody else but us in the area. Basically he got on top of me and kissed me suddenly, and which triggered me fawning ( laughing and trying to be lighthearted while pushing him away) but I was just super shocked. He told me he was in love with me for the past months, then kissed me again, and because I was shocked, I just…accepted it. That was my first ever action of intimacy. Yeah, so after that I saw him again, because he invited me out and I was still confused about what happened. I’m not really sure why, I don’t even know if I like him, I feel like i’m detached from this situation and just watching myself do this. The concept of a relationship in general stresses me out, I don’t like showing romantic interest without feeling 100% safe ( and I obviously don’t feel that rn), and im just so lost tbh. 

Two: Men projecting onto me. I’ve dealt with this a lot, but another recent example id of this much older man ( again) telling me he finds me very attractive and I remind him of a former partner of his. I’m supposed to be doing business with this man, but it seems like I need to be more careful of him as well. What is it about my chart that evokes experiences like these? 

I (20f) am at an incredibly strange point of my life. I would appreciate some secondary input about my venus +neptune( and maybe Lilith) placements (tw- possible SA)