I lost my son today.

My recently ex-girlfriend aborted our 4 month old boy today. Drove her to the clinic, stayed with her for as long as the clinic allowed. Brought her to my house. Cleaned her up. Fed her. Took care of her dog. I will continue getting whatever she needs till recovery and remind her to never feel guilty for doing what she thought was best for her. Everyone else be damned, including me. All of these things are what any man should do. I’m not looking for a pat on the back.

But goddamnit I fucking hate that she did it. When she asked for my opinion, I said I wanted our son. I’d do everything in my power to provide for our son and support her as the mother of our child. I even offered to move in with family so she could have my apartment for as long as she needed so she didn’t have to deal with her toxic family home. The problem was I refused to be in the relationship any longer because neither of us are happy.

She said the only way she would keep the baby was if we stayed together. I didn’t want our son to be born to parents that couldn’t be civil with each other, so now our son is dead.

Keeping it to myself because I know my thoughts and feelings come second. Her body, her choice, it’s the way it should be. I just feel as though I killed our son because I refused to continue our toxic relationship. All I can do is cry when she isn’t looking because I don’t want to guilt trip her. Whether or not someone cares doesn’t change the fact I’ve no choice in the matter, I’m just the father.

Cheers.