Feel so torn/conflicted

A part of me just wants to end. cut ties from family, and also end my life because i have watched far too many injustice happening. bad people, people who have harmed, abuse, hurt, rape their own child getting away from it. still happily laugh, having a home, a career, just a smooth life.

and then the ones who receives it, has to deal with the remaining broken bits of them, collect it, emptying the pain as much as they can, and build something.. trying to move on with life. but also like the part where i feel conflicted is, i want to stay alive enough to watch pain befall upon them, which is never, and never will. or die, by suicide, to just end this for all.