crying sad and feeling guilty and idk what to do

my daddy died and i promised him before he died that i would be a good boy and i’ve already broken all our rules im a bad boy i just don’t know what to do i feel so guilty and sad all i wanna do is tell him im sorry and take my punishment and cuddle in his arms but i can’t because he’s gone forever and never coming back not that i deserve him cuz i broke a promise,

before he died he said are you gonna be a good boy and i said yes and then he said, you promise, and i said yes daddy i promise

and now he’s dead and i broke my promise and im a bad boy and a horrible person and im all alone and crying