Fear of looking like my Dad or my Brother

This is kinda a stupid post but TMI and TW [mentions of abuse]

I am emotionally estranged from my family due to their abuse and neglect of me throughout my life. I am still living with them bc of shitty circumstances so I am closeted and been hiding my transition for 8 months now.

My dad (whom I absolutely loathe), would constantly boast: "You look just like me! That's why you're so beautiful!" or "We are practically twins, you'll look exactly like me!" And it makes my dysphoria worse cos I aboslutely do *not* want to ever look like him. I am scared of continuing to transition sometimes because what if I start to pass and I end up seeing him on the mirror?

My doctor for HRT told me that once my face fully masculanizes I'll end up looking like my brother and it made me feel bad, I don't want to look like him either!

If I identified as female, I wouldn't have this problem cos atleast my "feminine" features would hide some of their "traits" but now that I'm going full force with T, I'm scared of looking at the mirror ever again :((