I might be trans feminine but I feel like I’m fooling myself

In the past couple weeks I think I’ve started to have my egg crack, as I’ve heard some people call it. I can’t stop browsing these online forums, learning more about trans experiences, and thinking about if I could be a woman, or at least a more feminine man. The last few nights I’ve hardly gotten any sleep just reading and thinking about all of this, even now it’s past 4am. I never had a sense of dysphoria before or thought I might not be a guy, but I’ve always felt a bit “different” from others. Yet lately, I’ve become fascinated by the idea of having breasts, doing more feminine things, or being a woman.

I’ve explored these thoughts with my very supportive wife who helped me paint my toenails, wear her cozy loungewear, and even stuff socks in a bralette just to hang out and get a sense of having breasts. I just booked an ear piercing appointment for my 23rd birthday even though I was never interested in it before, and everything I’ve tried has filled me with so many warm and fuzzy feelings of excitement and nervousness. I feel like my mind is suddenly turning upside down and sometimes I can’t convince myself these feelings are real, but I want them to be real so bad even though the implications on my social and family life are terrifying to me.

I feel like I really want to try HRT just to see if it would bring me the peace and clarity I’ve been searching for, but I know I’d be rushing into it way too fast if I started any time soon, plus my wife and I are living with my dad and stepmom who would be totally disgusted and bigoted about my revelations. I also just REALLY want natural breasts. I find them so incredibly comforting and wonderful, and the intrusive thoughts of having them is how I started to explore these ideas and realize I could be trans.

Please, if anyone has advice or experiences to share I could really use some direction, as these feelings are all so new and confusing to me. I feel so eager to move forward with this but I don’t know how or if I’m moving too fast, or if this is just some phase that has suddenly hit me.