Anyone else struggle with parasocial relationships?

sorry if this sounds weird,

ever since I was a child I have developed these weird parasocial relationships with characters from my hyperfixations, I think it's bc I'm so lonely and in my head I can pretend these characters care about me.

it started when I was a toddler, I would pretend that TV show and movie characters were my friends and they actually cared for me, which that's probably normal for a child, but I don't think I ever grew out of it.

it started getting bad in 6th grade, I was later diagnosed with a dissociation disorder due to trauma that started around this time, I was hyperfixated on an anime (ik this is cringe lol but I was also 11) and I genuinely started to think they were my friends, I would talk to them all day in my head and I developed genuine feelings for these characters. I remember knowing it wasn't healthy so I tried to let go but I started sobbing bc I was so scared to be alone again.

now I'm 16 and I'm dealing with the same thing, it's these characters in an arg and I've been super hyperfixated on this show and I've begun to develop these fake friendships anf relationships in my head, I think it's important to mention I'm homeschooled and live in a little bit of a toxic household. I think the reason I do this is bc my social needs are not being met at all so I kinds have to fill in the gaps myself lol. I don't have health insurance so I can't go to therapy, and even then I'd be too embarrassed to tell someone irl this. it's to the point I imagine these characters finding out I cut or that I'm depressed and them comforting me. I haven't been hugged in years so anytime I imagine getting hugged I just start sobbing uncontrollably. I'm cringing at myself writing this lol I'm sorry but its true and I know it's not healthy but I don't know how to stop it please help