How to feel for someone new after a messy breakup?

I (24f) ended things with an ex a few months ago after years of deception. Without going into too much detail, I had to grieve someone who never existed. Who was willing to harm me.

My question is what steps can I take to start allowing myself to feel for new people?

I have two people actively pursuing me at the moment- I’ve been honest with both that I am not ready for anything serious, and it’s communicated we are not exclusive.

Do I just end things until I meet someone I feel deeply for again? I can’t see myself ever feeling as intensely for someone as I did for the illusion my ex created. So I’m testing the waters to see if I can develop feelings but I can’t help but feel misguided.

I can feel my attachment style turning avoidant and I want to do everything in my power to stop it. I want to be my usual lovergirl self.