Holidays are not my favorite - anyone else?

So I stupidly decided to go to Easter dinner and it was ok I guess but mentally it really threw me seeing my brother. We haven’t spoken for at least 3 years. I think at this point I’m not going to go if he’s there. It is awkward and I have all kinds of feelings and nostalgia afterwards. I remember the sweet kid he used to be. Not the mean adult he is now. Anyone else feel this way?