I don't know how to make a wage that doesn't make me feel like an embarrassment

I work in fabrication.

I do important work that matters.

I make electrical enclosures for IT, traffic, electrical and solar etc.

I contribute society like I'm supposed to.

I do CNC like press brake, I also use the band saw, I'm currently cutting over a thousand pieces right now, pem, debur, grinding , tapping, counter syncing, drilling, assisting others with their work, going between two fucking locations using my gas

but I'm paid worse than I was doing over night stocking ins grocery store.

genuinely unless your a welder or an engineer in this line of work, you aren't valued. despite every link in the chain mattering.

without press brake and other cnc. the welders, the painters, the assembly, shipment. no one gets any fucking work, but we get paid like we're not a niche dying skill.

like we aren't equally important and face dangers.

I breathe in metal too, I risk my hands, my fingers, my arms every time i use my machine, it just takes one mistake. I'm breaking my back, tearing down my ligaments and joints. . but it doesn't matter .

I'm making measurements, calculating every 10, 100th and a thousand of an inch, angles down to the perfect degree, solving complex issues on 100 grand machines,

sawing the parts, putting in the fasteners, drilling the holes, making the pallets, teaching the new guy, programming, risking my hands and fingers, doing tooling, breaking my back, losing my patience for low ass pay.

I got a 'REAL MANS JOB' like I was told to, leave fucking Walmart, leave Lowe's and get a real mans job to make some money. yeah make money my ass.

there ain't money in the trades unless your doing the big ones like welding, HVAC, plumbing and electrical and for the most parts those guys aren't being paid shit unless they're independents, working absurd over time or unionized. I'm in the south so everything is shit for me.. but "just get out the south, move" ive been told.. yeah like it's as simple as that.

I'm just tired of every job I got to, I'm basically used like a revolving door.. I put in effort, I try my best to learn. I try to share my knowledge and skills with the new workers and make the best of others, but I'm also fucked over in the end and eventually replaced.

more work on my back, no benefit, and certainly not pay worth a damn.

I can't afford love, I can't afford to live alone, I can't afford hobbies, I can't afford a home, I can't afford a car, I can't afford dental care, I can't afford jack shit despite how hard I work, it makes everything feel so worthless.

my one and last hope is college, I'm thinking robotics. I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I feel like it's just simply improbable to have tried so much and get short handed every time.. I must be doing something wrong.

something, I mean I have to, because how am I getting shafted every time.

I just can't take the shit anymore man.

all I want is to feel like I can afford a future, to not be embarrassed of myself and feel low value, I'm tired of this .

I just can't word properly how embarasing it feels to work so hard and bust my ass, juggling multiple positions to make so little.. it's humiliating and I feel like a tool more than human at this point