Am I wrong?

So pretty much, I’m in a relationship almost 2 years and honestly, it’s been rocky. He’s been untruthful, emotionally cheated, and talked to other females behind my back. Each time, I forgive him, but every time it happens, I feel like I’m slowly losing feelings even though I still love him.

I’ve been trying to be patient. Recently, I’ve been expressing that I need him to put in effort without me having to constantly tell him what to do. I’ve been feeling like a roommate with boobs. I want him to communicate better and reassure me, even when he’s out with his family or friends. I’ve told him he can hang out with them—I just want communication—and he agreed. But now, when he goes out with his family, he doesn’t communicate at all. It’s always I need to be there for my mom my mom needs me she sick and I understand . It’s not about that it’s about not feeling wanted.

He doesn’t initiate anything. He doesn’t tell me he loves me first. He doesn’t do anything romantic he doesn’t lead. He says it “takes time,” but I’ve already been making changes myself, even going on medication to better myself. So I’m just like… okay.

Today, he picked me up after work and then he dropped me off at home and said he’s going to go to his mom’s and take out the trash and he’ll be right back so he goes there. Spends about 30 minutes and he calls me and says that he’s gonna take his mom to his brothers which is like an extra 30 minutes away and my phone died so I tried calling him back once I charged it but he wasn’t answering and he spends like a good 2 to 1 hour there and I texted him and I told him how I feel. I said I feel like a roommate. I say you don’t communicate well how do you say you’re gonna do one thing and then turn around to another I don’t like that . I feel neglected because he doesn’t initiate anything, doesn’t tell me he loves me first, and doesn’t communicate with me. It feels like I have to beg for his attention. Just because he comes home and sits on his phone while the TV is on doesn’t mean we’re actually spending time together.

I told him I want to feel noticed and loved the way I love him, but it seems like he just can’t do that. I said I’m going to start pulling back, and he responded by saying I need to apologize for what I said in the text message because I’m wrong. He brought up that we already talked about him hanging out with his friends, but I told him it’s not about that. It’s about the lack of communication. It’s about the lack of any initiation. It’s about the lack of any love. Honestly. He won’t even put me on his lock screen, won’t initiate anything, and won’t say “I love you” first. He says his family needs him and he’s gonna always be there especially his mom since she is sick however, I said it has nothing to do with that. I just want you to communicate when you’re there and his excuses is he’s with his family so he can’t really text back, but I’m like that doesn’t make sense and I said it all in the messages and when he wanted to talk to me about it, I was calm and I told him that I wasn’t mad I wasn’t upset. I was just done and I’m gonna start pulling back like he is and he got upset raising his voice, interrupting me and basically said that I need to fix this because he’s done with my attitude even though I didn’t have an attitude.

It’s really upsetting and I don’t know what to do.