Help with mortgage in (missing) ex's name

location: Kansas

Needing advice on where to turn or what documents I need. 

My ex husband and I had a house in a trust, with us as trustees.  So both names on the actual house. (The trust is void at this point). The loan itself is only in his name. We got divorced in 2016. I had 3 years to get the loan in my name. I tried, but he put up issues. The court also ordered him to sign a quit claim deed transferring everything house related to me. I was awarded the house in the decree. He never did anything he was ordered to do. He also was to give paperwork to the mortgage company (NFCU) allowing them to talk to me about anything mortgage related, but nothing with his personal accounts. 

I've been the one paying the mortgage since the divorce started in 2015. I have to guess at the amount when it changes. The bank will not tell me any number. The only way I know it changes is if I get a letter saying there was a missed payment (meaning I didn't pay enough). That letter is addressed to him but comes to my house. I don't get any of the letters stating it's going to change, etc. this happens every year or 2, depending on the escrow amount, so not often, but still puts a kink into things. 

My ex husband is a missing person (almost 4 years now). However, even when he wasn't missing he would not be of help. 

NFCU says I need a POA. Obviously, I am not able to get that with him missing. His parents do have "absentee of his estate" which is nothing btw. However, NFCU told us that is not enough. I have talked to several people (managers, survivor support, etc) at NFCU and apparently nobody can tell me exactly what I need.  Yesterday the lady said I need to get an attorney and have them get with their legal department. 

A couple of years ago I contacted an estate attorney and once they looked into the case said they can't help me. They told me it's a family law thing. I asked my attorney from the divorce and she acted like she couldn't do anything either.  

The estate attorney said, after looking at our divorce case, " I do not think our firm is the right fit for your case and that you need to consult a family law attorney." "For what it is worth from me, I am sorry you are having to deal with this. Your attorney made sure there were clear orders in place, your ex is just choosing to violate them for some strange reason. I sincerely wish you the best of luck." 

Any advice on what I need or who I can contact to try to get access to the mortgage I've been paying for 10 plus years?