Should I move on from both?

I am 39F and I am seeing two men age A. 44M and B. 4All three parties have kids, elementary and middle school range.

I met A two years ago and the relationship was monogamous, we waited a few months to get intimate. When we finally were intimate, it wasn't mind blowing. In fact it was so bad that if we hadn't bothered getting to know each other first, that would have been the end. I cared about him and after a few more times to make sure it really was not good in the sack, I had a discussion with him pretty much telling him that if he wanted a monogamous relationship the sex needed work. He had been married once 10 years and that was his only other experience. Because I didn't want to commit to working on it, I informed him that I can't be in a relationship with him and that I was also very okay with him dating more or other women. He wanted to stay friends and told me he wanted to work on getting better and that he felt things would get better with practice. Usually, I'd say if the chemistry is not good, I would have moved on and stopped talking to the person but he is a great guy and someone I would marry if sex was not a factor. I know sex is not everything but I want at least a few good years of intimacy. I did emphasize that I was not committed to him anymore but I knew he was not going to date other people. We did end up getting intimate a handful of times and it was getting better but really still doesn't bring out the animal in me. I really can't put my finger on it but I don't have an immediate association of getting turned on when I see him. I do enjoy his company and we have the same goals and values for finances and kids. He's super smart and caring and the easiest person to be around. Ideally he would find someone who is more compatible with him. More details. Has a modest full time job. And a home he pays mortgage on. Has a car. I have met his kids and they are well behaved. The mother lives one town over 2 hours. My kids have met A and like A.

So after that I was dating around and met B. He's great in bed but I am not sure how our lives would mesh. He's also smart but in a street smart kind of way. My usual life is more plain and my family is really reserved. For instance, his hairstyle would probably be a sticking point although I'm sure my family would eventually accept him. My family especially my mother's opinion does count to me. Other than that, the issue is that he has a none formal job. I want to say he is not employed a regular job and does jobs that I normally wouldn't consider stable- he models and does personal training. I have been to his apartment and it's very modest which I feel will mean I would have to have him move into my home and I already feel that will cause some issues. His personality clashes more but only because I've experienced the peace of A. B is more energetic in bed and lasts longer. His kids are with him every other week. His kids mother lives in the same city.

My kids have not met B. No plans yet to introduce. I am also not sure about blending families with B. I feel like I would be more compatible long term with A if I had to pick today.

About me; Never married. Wanted to. My kids are with me full time. I work a full time regular white collar job like A, different fields. Long term relationship leading to marriage but more like long term 5 years. I would need a prenup with both because to be honest I'm not sure this is the best I can get. A is great but minor issues or major depending on how you look at it. I also would not want to live with A immediately because he has a cat and my kid has severe cat allergy(not willing to expose him to the cat because he actually gets hospitalized for his illness). I'm sure that can be worked on if we were serious. An ideal partner would share values and be easy to get along with. They should already be able to carry their weight but don't mind sharing resources once married. I would also value a great role model. I don't want to increase stress or friction into my life. Taking care of my kids can be hard but I do well because I'm organized and know where to get help and activities. Ideally the partner should be able to continue doing their fair share of taking care of their kids. Not sure how to combine roles because it took so long to even find a system of taking my kids to school, and the day to day. I know in a marriage, all these things would need to be done together. That's why I feel a long term relationship is better than marrying right now. So the main question is which of the two is a better match. I don't think I will find something better soon.

Questions:

1. I feel like even when I date ideal people, I can't find the correct person

2. Should I break up with both and stop talking to both. I broke up with A but he lingered. He told me he wants to get married and that he will be with me forever even after I told him very nicely about the bedroom issue. He did get better (oral and lasts longer than the beginning but I feel like I haven't had a proper orgasm)

3. I feel like chemistry is better but our lives just don't mesh

4. I also have considered just focusing on what's working. I have a good job, house and car and maybe I should be content until my kids leave for college. I am also in part time masters program so really can't justify wasting more time deliberating over this

5. If you had a similar situation, how did it end?

Wanted to provide a lot of information to see if I can get good advise.