Feeling hopeless

I'm a 27 year old trans man and I'm not yet on T. Because of where I live and my personal circumstances it's been impossible for me, and it looks like I can't get hormones this year either. I've known I was trans since I was 17, it's been YEARS of hoping my situation would improve and I can finally get HRT.

I feel like I've lost so much progress.

I've lost my whole 20s.

It's so heartbreaking seeing people younger than me come out and transition, seeing people my age compare their progress vs when first started T, see people become who they truly are and grow into wonderful people and of course I'm glad for them! I'm glad we live in a time when someone can access hormones and have a welcoming family who accept that. I don't want to take away anyones happiness.

But I'm also so sad it's not me. I've lost 10 years I'll never get back. It feels like too late to even start, I'll always be behind. Though I guess those fears don't matter because it's not even a possibility in the future... Just been feeling so hopeless and upset and have no one to talk to about this.