Hey Yall

IDK why I’m baring my soul lol so here goes. First off I’m Muslim idk why I’m starting with that but I was born Muslim we always heard growing up stay away from the weed it’s a gateway drug. Every time I would hear something like that I would laugh and say ha ha I have strong willpower. I can kick anything probably even Percs or some Fetty. The first time I smoked was probably with one of my best friends since middle school we don’t really see each other now but we were 19. Just got done with the basketball game. And I smoked some of his blunt. It was my first time getting high. I thought life was a video game. I thought I was in Frogger or some shit. I was just deciding whether or not to hop across the road and lay down and see if I’d respawn 😂. I made it halfway home before I passed out on the lawn somewhere and some lady came out with a pillow and a blanket, and I woke up and went home. I haven’t smoked like at all after that until I was I want to say my memory is fucked up. I can’t even remember. It’s been like three or four years maybe two. At least 2 to 4 years. I picked up some weed during Covid cause I was bored and everyone’s like oh you can’t get addicted to weed it’s impossible.

Fast forward to today on 26 years old and I swear to God I think I’ve been high almost every single day for the past four years almost like 90% of the days. There’s been some sometimes when I don’t have enough money and I’ll go like two or three days max before I say fuck it and I just make some money or borrow some money from some friends. And I buy a cartridge and I smoke it and it lets me like 2 to 3 days. Sometimes it might last me just a day. Now, at this point in my life, I’m a nicotine addict and a marijuana addict. They both go against my religion, but I don’t know why but when I’m not high, I just feel so much worse. I would say depression, but how would weed make me depressed? Also, I never really believed in it. I haven’t even been praying at all lately like I’ll pray when I get yelled at or told. But the other times I’m just high. Could even go the full Ramadan without smoking while my neighbor fasted with us for some reason I think just experience, but he only smoked at night. I was smoking during my fast. I tried quitting, but I’ll just feel awkward like I’m not myself and like just one puff of weed will make me feel so much better. And then that one puff turns into another cartridge next thing I know I’m buying it again. Now, thankfully, I don’t think I’m sick yet, but I want to quit because when I think back on it. It hasn’t messed up my whole life, but it’s taking control like I stopped hanging out with friends now all I’ll do is get high and watch some TV and get high or do some homework / taking an exam and then get high as a treat.

Now I really wanna quit. I never really thought about it. But I spent almost 100 bucks a week just on marijuana. Add that to the 50 I spent on nicotine. That’s over 7K a year. 4 years that’s what 28K? Impossible, I’ve been broke most of my life. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been thinking of quitting nicotine and quitting weed. At first. It was just to save some money and now I realize how much my life actually revolves around or has to do with some type of smoking. I’ve even lied to my friends and parents and told them I’ve quit when I haven’t.

Am I just weak willed? I looked it up and they say Weed does not like addicting to your body, but it could be psychologically addicting. I’m not sure if that’s what I’ve got but I need help to stop. Is there anybody who has any tips or someone who went through the same thing? Should I try quitting Nick and Weed at the same time or do Weed first? Then try to quit nicotine after.