i just need to vent

no need to read the whole thing if you don't wanna hear a bunch of complaining. anyways, i need to vent a little and i like y'all more than gen pop reddit <3

so like i am extremely overwhelmed. i do not make enough money and i'm drowning in debt. i have been struggling. there's always something that comes up and god fucking forbid something is wrong with my car again because i will legit be screwed. every time i get a little ahead, something happens and then i'm pushed back to the start.

i'm just so tired. i've been looking for a better paying full time job. been looking for a second part time job. been trying to cut back on expenses and sell stuff that i feel okay parting with (which is hard because i am fairly sure everyone else is having money issues so it's not like i have a lot of buyers, also just don't have many things to sell).

on top of that i have lupus and other health issues that i can't even focus on treating. and i know that if i even do find a part time job, i would only be able to last a few months because of how exhausted and in pain i feel all the time.

i've been living alone the last 1.5 years and my family wants me to move back in because of the money issues i'm having. but i love being alone! i have never felt more like myself! i'm able to unmask and relax when in my own home. i am grateful for the my family who loves me. but they have money issues too! i shouldn't keep relying on them in my 30s.

idk, i just had a bunch of feelings i needed to get out.

i am grateful for the life i have especially since the rest of the world is literally a war zone (and being on top of the news isn't helping my big feelings). i know there's not a lot anyone can do or say for me but thanks for reading if you did~