i have bipolar on my record that i’m trying to expunge, but my recent episodes have me rethinking things

this might be weird and maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I’m in a weird situation. after years of struggling with my mental health, my current psych NP suggested i have bipolar ii. i disagreed with this and was trying to get this off my record, but she said that it has to be in order for my insurance to process the claim for my seroquel prescription. in the past i had episodes of elevated emotions and as a teenager it lasted longer and were more erratic but i don’t know if those were necessarily “manic” if that makes sense.

well flash forward to now. i’ve been dealing with the worst emotional back and forth i’ve ever felt. i’ll be feeling violently, suicidally depressed with horrific thoughts looping in my head, and then thirty minutes later, i’ll be whipped back to my normal mood or state of being while never quite being present. and i’ve kept yoyoing like this for days. i don’t know what this is because this doesn’t feel like any state of depression i’ve ever been in and i’m scared of my psych being right. does anyone have any idea of what this could be and any tips on how i can manage this?