where to go from here? (sped)

i'm curious for those who left subbing what did you do next? if you're still subbing, where do you plan to go? i'm almost done with my first year of subbing (99% sped jobs) and even though it's been chaos, i absolutely love it. sometimes though i do leave the school sad knowing i may not be back and i may not see the same kids again. i really feel like i'm lacking the relationships and bonds that come from showing up at the same place everyday. it is REALLY nice not having to return to some schools though 😭 but at the moment i'm stuck between becoming a sped para or becoming a sped teacher. i'm pretty reluctant to go the teacher route due to the schooling, paperwork, and lesson plans that comes with it (even though i adore teaching.) for sped para though i'm reluctant due to some of the behaviors i've seen (main concern is violence), having to handle toileting, and the under appreciation of sped paras. but i also do really love the 1-1 time i've gotten with kids in sped classrooms. i plan to become a sub sped para for the new school year to try it out but i am VERY burnt out trying to find jobs every day as a sub and would just love to be at one school. i love the flexibility but i feel like i'm sacrificing stability and my mental health tbh. i'm just thinking out loud really but if you're in a similar situation, i'd love to hear about it. im in Chicago, IL if thats helpful.