This isn't poetic.

** cw depression **

In response to what you said about the swathes of "survivors" that supposedly exist-

The people who say that they don't regret staying alive are the vocal minority. No one wants to speak up and announce "sometimes life doesn't get better" because maybe it will, we don't have a magic crystal ball to say for sure.

But there are no angels reaching out their hand to catch you if you're falling, it's your fault if you don't have it in you to try anymore. You will never be looked upon with kindness, there are no pearly gates waiting for you if you try to be different.

I'm angry that I live in a society that snuffs me out but won't even have enough mercy to tell me I can go. It's no one's place to decide for me if I should grit my teeth and bear it like I have for every day I've been alive. I've had enough.

But I can't leave. I'm trapped in this world that never wanted me. I drag myself around like a walking corpse. Trust me, I have tried every treatment there is, every kind of therapy. You can't medicate away being beaten into the ground, it won't make you be able to take it any more.

I'm not at risk to myself, but I am so tired. All I can do is sleep this haze away and try not to think too much as I sink further below what my nightmares convinced me was even possible.