.. I kept trying to tell you

Feb 14 | 2023

The other one… she’s tame. And I’ll confuse you if I try to speak because we don’t have the same name. Not here. Not anywhere. I swear.

But you’ve asked many questions. And made some requests and to satisfy your hunger I’ll give you my best:

Cum dance with me, See.

I walk sheepishly towards your threshold, unsure of my steps, uneasy about the depths revealed in this journey to know you. See.., I don’t think you can grasp the growth on this path to show you; I writhe for the whole you. More than even I knew. And I’m worried with each sweep, praying you don’t regret or withhold the secrets that were told in the dark of this fold to bestow you.. my truth. Craving the beast, loving the man.

I knock timidly,…

Head down, as if transparency had a name you could see through. Terrified of this man about th e threshold who knew my whole truth. The man who saw *you*. I shudder, as foreign synapses fire fears vapidly.

No answer. Oh, there’s a button! I push it, momentarily distracted by my aptitude of finding joy in small things I’ve mastered. Like buttons.

Rustling approaches; my stomach flees the scene, launching me back to the reality of the neediness of my shadow at your feet. My gaze rushing their fix to my soles, trying to hide the eagerness and terror pulsing in my neck, while humming the seam of femoral steam around the junction of my brook. *she doesn’t seem to be reserving anything!*

Knobs clanking, heart sinking, anxiety twisting. *whoosh* The friction and momentum too enticing to deny, I lift my face to find you… there. You’re there.

You. *im alive*

The silence is loud, but I can’t hear a thing as I splay stunted by your gravity, the exquisite creature that I know I drew. I can’t move. Warmth choking out my air as my heart consumes my head. Seemingly brain dead, so how am I tracing your jawline so lovingly? The rich hue of each hair highlighting the ridge of your brow like a man on the prowl holding a spear with a manicure? How do you? …Embody a man of the ages of time so handsomely?

I’m stunned. You stun. My eyes so drunkenly deaf to your pneumatics, as I failed to realize your proximity. You’ve stepped in I’ll closer. Much closer. Your face to my face; I find you there searching for my coordinates, as I’m lost in the presence of your ordinance of these pulses.

*now im awake*

Blinking the debri of longing to clear my view. *there*

There, You find *me*. And I find you. You, there. Your stare piercing deep to these bones, casting a light of knowing on treasures I’ve hidden among stones.

And before I can finish releasing my posture of any pride I had left, with the sweep of a hero, you pull me in close. You take my breath.

Your steam on my neck, your warmth on my soul. And I melt into you, I have no control.

*to be continued*