Am I the fault?

Weeks ago I got into a disagreement with my mother in regards to my future and where I want to move forward to. She kept saying, sorry, that I'd have no choice but to do a LDR with my boyfriend considering he didn't want to move away from his stable work. That I must move away from my job too.

I simply shut down and didn't speak much to her. It felt like my choices as an adult were undermined and simply thrown away, and she would poke at my reaction and laugh about it to others. I remember her words. It wasn't a suggestion. I know I'm not crazy...

When confrontation happened, it immediately fell to my attitude, aka my silence. Then it spiraled. Then it was about my relationship, then I was told I'm just like my absent father, that I only notice my siblings getting treated well, etc, etc. At some point it all just blurred through my ears. I just got angry. I just didn't get it. Apparently I was wrong, apparently it was my fault that she ignored me, didn't speak to me, and I was simply accused of why I reacted a certain way. Not asked why, just accused that because of reasons A, B, and C, this is why I acted the way I did towards her. And that she never said she was forcing me to move. Although if that was the case, why would I have cried the first time she mentioned it? If it was merely a, "If you wanted to come.." would I have cried?

I just shut down. I just couldn't say anything. Everything she said was just untrue to my feelings and what motivated me to set a boundary. And every time I said something, it was beat back with something else because I'm too stupid to understand. Or something worse or more suffering.

I just cried for hours. Because I am very confused. I just don't know. I am just tired. I feel horrible...