AIO for feeling hurt that my boyfriend never puts effort into making me feel special?

I’ve (29F) been in a relationship with my boyfriend (29M) for 6 years, and lately I’ve been feeling really emotional and insecure about our future.

He’s a sweet person in general, but when it comes to me, I feel like there’s just… no effort. He would instead cook for both of us last birthday it was just me & him and his ome friend he baked 2-3 times the same cake & I cut that thats it i had interview after that he could have done something at least. He came to thw us and i literally spent way more than what i had spent on me I felt i was always a giver. He never plans anything, never takes me out, never gets me small gifts, and doesn’t really do anything to make me feel special. I’m not asking for expensive things just basic thought and effort.

It’s always been me thinking for both of us. Even for birthdays, we’ve barely celebrated. The one time he threw me a surprise party, I actually sent him the money back because I felt guilty that he spent on me.

That’s another issue I always feel guilty when he spends anything on me. So I’ve gotten into the habit of paying him back, even when I was unemployed. I don’t know if I created this dynamic myself, but now it feels like he just… doesn’t think to do anything for me at all.

What hurts more is that he does spend on his family and buys them nice/luxury things, which I don’t mind but it makes me feel like I’m just not someone he wants to put that effort into.

Sometimes he also comes across as a bit selfish, and all of this combined just makes me feel undervalued and unsure about where this relationship is going.

AIO for feeling this way after 6 years? Or am I expecting too much?