I’m not going all in and I still think about quitting

Honestly it’s been rough trying to start my own thing in the side as I work a normal job, on myself, try to have some form of a social life and everything else, I’m in my mid 20s, still struggling financially and despite everything I still often wanna just quit.

I’m not going all in with my side business and still lately I’ve let fear hold me back and a part of me wants to quit it. I hate working so much and I always have, I used to never be able to keep a job and now I’ve landed a decent sales gig but honestly it can be so mentally draining I wanna leave that too. There’s a lot going on inside as well, so much stress, so much has changed for the better, my dog needs a trip to the vet I can’t afford rn, cars practically bleeding oil, credit card is insane.

I know what I started on the side can work I’ve seen people work it before, I watched someone in the past 2-3 years walk away from their job, still I sit idle dealing with all this made up internal bullshit letting the days pass me by like I don’t know what to do because I do know. I have days where I just can’t seem to move. It sucks and has been eating away at me vigorously.

I’m grateful my mom still lets me stay with her because honestly I’d probably be dead, in a box, or selling drugs to make ends meet but I don’t wanna keep boxing her or my sister in situations where they have to wait for me to catch up to myself again.

Internally I feel so upset and angry but I also know how to fix it, a part of me just won’t let me move. I know what my mentors gonna say, I figure what a therapist would say, I could re read books but what use is the knowledge if I ain’t using it. Sounds insane and totally self inflicted and it is….. Pushing past this fear all over again is so hard man