I 30F am in a Hotwife lifestyle. m42 is suppose to be my next bull. Am i being led on?

Hi! My husband M30 and i F30 are into the Hotwife lifestyle. Been doing this for a year now. I want to focus specifically on one guy who is really giving me a run for my money. M42, also my husbands coworker, has been messaging me on Snapchat since November. at first he thought i was doing this behind my husbands back and he was totally okay with it (my husband was aware of what was going on). We talked for 2 weeks and i explained to him the life style that my husband and i live and that i was serious about wanting to hook up with him. He was all about it. Said he would need to see if mentally he could do it since he works with my husband, which i said was absolutely understandable. So it's now end of December, we've talked every day, built up the sexual tension, he talked about getting a hotel room for us, ect. A night out where we were all supposed to meet our fellow friends came and he didn't show. Apparently he was sick, but never told me anything. Then proceeds to ignore me for days. Then comes back and says life's been busy and that he still wants me. This cycle has literally happened 4 times now since January. Constantly saying he wants to hook up, talks the talk and when it's time to walk the walk he suddenly 'vanishes'. I've literally told him that if this is something he can't morally do, that's fine, but I'm not about to be giving him a GFE when we aren't even getting to the purpose of us talking. We were so good the last week, talking, he said he can't wait to hook up. Then BAM 2 days ago radio silence!!! If i don't reach out first, after a few days he goes 'are you alive' but otherwise nothing there. Or he will say 'you mad at me or something'. Like no?! I didn't do anything, i just don't understand this tornado he's causing. Am i at the point where this just needs shut down completely? It sucks because the sexual tension was great, but his inability to follow through is such a turn off. Was he ever even going to do it? I feel like i was just his personal porn star for 5 months .