sad for pregnancy to end

pregnancy is so miserable. first and second trimester is nausea and heartburn, back and hip pain, cravings and finding out i have gestational diabetes. 3rd trimester is physical discomfort, more cravings and not being allowed to satisfy them, more heartburn, and even more hip and back pain. my boobs hurt, im exhausted all the time, i cant be as active as i used to, my brain feels like it's running slower than it should, i hate people asking about my pregnancy, and i stress so much about everything i want to get done before he comes.

yet at the same time, im so sad for this to end. he wont be all mine anymore, i know hes safe, it's all in my control. i know no one can hurt him or judge him where he is, no one can hate him or try and corrupt how pure and beautiful he is. it's so bittersweet because i love my partner and the idea of seeing someone i love so much hold and care for something ive carried for so long, something we created together. the idea of loving something together even more than we love each other, which i didnt think was even possible, is so wonderful and im so excited to share it with him.

and with my family too! with his family, with the people we trust. but them being able to have him too is still just so scary. the world seeing him is so scary. i am so sad because i feel like theres some really really specific bond i have with my sweet baby right now, something that i'll somehow lose. i almost dont want to give birth, just as much as i want him to get the fuck out of me! is this normal??