Do I have gHSV-1?

Hi all. I'm not too sure where to start, so I'm not too sure why I'm posting on here. But I figured I'd post my story and figured maybe someone could calm me down, or just, tell me there's a life worth living with this.

7 months ago I (30M) had been broken up with. I had plans on marrying this person and they were the only person I had ever slept with. Over the next few months I slowly built my confidence back up and got back into the dating scene. I met someone who was super hot and shared a lot of similarities, but I was only looking for something casual since I was still getting over the break up. I had gone on a few dates with the person and had mentioned STI testing throughout these dates.

The only thing we had done were making out and on the last date I had (pardon the vulgarity) fingered her. My pants stayed on. Roughly 5-10 minutes afterwards, I had used the bathroom.

A week later, I had mentioned if she had done STI testing like I had and she said she had rescheduled. I had told her that I didn't get tested for herpes since I didn't have any exposure or symptoms.

She told me that she had an outbreak of gHSV-1 ten years ago and that she hadn't had any outbreak since. She also said she takes lysine every day. I was clueless about HSV. I was/am ignorant of it. I told her that I felt like I was feeling too attached given the recent break up and I had wished she told me before we had done anything.

This is when I started to spiral.

10 days after that night, I had a swab done on my lip that came back negative. The following day I had a blood test done and it came back positive for HSV-1. I didn't know how to feel. I thought I might've had cold sores before? My ex even said she remembered not kissing me for a week because we were pretty sure I had one. I also remember possibly having one in elementary school. My mom said that my dad might've had them growing up. I felt like cold sores weren't really a huge deal, but then I got mixed responses from friends. Some friends said that dating would be significantly more difficult. Others said it wasn't really a big deal.

I spent the next couple weeks processing this stuff.

Then I noticed bumps right above my genitals. I couldn't tell what they were and panicked. I trimmed the spot with some trimmers and had noticed there were multiple red raised bumps. Some were clustered, some weren't.

I started spiralling again.

I went to my friends and started sobbing. I wasn't sure what these bumps were but assumed the worst. I had scheduled an appt with my primary care a couple days later. He looked at the bumps. He said that it could be folliculitis or an HSV outbreak. He didn't give me a clear answer as to what it was between the 2. I never had anything on/near my genitals before. I was visibly distraught. He told me that it was most likely folliculitis and that he was prescribing me valacyclovir as a precaution (he also said I only had to disclose if I had an open outbreak, so I wasn't exactly confident in his knowledge on the subject).

Throughout that day, it kept eating me alive. I had to know for sure what this was. So I went to urgent care and got it swabbed yesterday. They said it also looks like folliculitis, but I was also pretty torn up so I'm not sure if it's just them telling me to help me keep it together.

Now I'm just, waiting for the results to come back. I don't know what to do. I keep trying to think of both outcomes of positive or negative. Everyone tells me the possibility of me getting it is next to zero. But also, the fact it's not zero is eating me alive. Especially if I have these bumps.

I guess, I'd like to hear anyone's thoughts on it.

Shame me for my ignorance and possibly feeding the stigma.

Is it really possible I got gHSV-1 from this situation?

Are these bumps really resembling HSV? (I did post a picture is the r/DiagnoseMe subreddit. It's very close to my genitals, so obviously a NSFW warning).

Ask questions if you want.

Tell me anything to keep my mind going.

I feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, waiting to see if it's truly loaded or not.