He is with me

"I am with him, he is with me, lord, our father, be with me now and always. Though I may falter and stumble, I know you are without failure"

She kissed the crucifix on her neck and sighed in relief as the voices were drowned out by her own slowing heartbeat. She heard the hydraulic hiss of the subway car stopping on the tracks in front of her, and she opened her eyes to be greeted by the opening doors.

"please watch your step as you embark, keep all hands and feet inside the tram, do not attempt to stop the closing doors"

She stepped through the threshold, her heart threatening to once again take off as another passenger bumped her softly. He was a tall man with dark skin, but his genuine small and speedy apology forced her heart to settle, producing little more than a momentary flutter. She thought back to a conversation she had with her sister just three days prior in her small rundown apartment in the center of east Hartford.

Trish flipped through the stack of old magazines, looking for anything interesting as her sister sat at the coffee table and stared at her phone.

"why dont you want to go again?"

Lailah shrugged as she stared at the phone, its black screen reflecting the ceiling light and the squeaky living room fan

"what if someone tries to get me?"

Trish scoffed

"LaiLai, whos going to get you?"

Lailah shrugged again, a gesture that seemed to be the only time her shoulders ever moved, their tight, anxious position usually bolted to the side of her torso in a never ending bastion of anxious winding. Like someone had long ago winched her shoulder blades taught and welded the cable where it stopped

"human traffickers, rapists, maybe they have serial killers?"

Trish turned away from the magazines

"in norway? come on, you havent left the house since mom died, this contest is a once in a lifetime opportunity"

her sisters voice was full of small holes, drops in octave that reminded Lailah of all the times she had fled opportunity in a never ending spiral of self sabotage and absent reliability. She was a paranoid mess after all, and her sister worried now would be no different.

"its just for writing. Things come up all the time for writing, ill go to the next one"

Trish crossed the room and took the phone off the table. Lailah stood up to fight back but Trish merely brought one strong arm up and planted it in her sisters chest, pushing her meek form back down on the couch before opening the phone, and dialing the most recent number. it rang for only a moment, till an excited voice picked up

"Hi, this is Lailah Everett, calling back to confirm my flight information. Ill be ready to go by this evening, can we make that work?- Yes! ok! great. Ill be there"

"shes right, this is all gonna be worth it. yes"

She smiled to herself, and slowly scanned the small train car as it began moving and the doors shut softly. There were only a few in the car with her, the dark skinned man from before, a short man with pale complexion and long blonde hair, a young woman in a pantsuit who was entirely dedicated to the phone in her hand, and then a young man with glasses who looked a bit paranoid and disheveled.

"first time here?"

she perked up and searched for the voice, finding it was the short man

"oh yes! im here for a writing contest of sorts, they asked me to read my submission at a local conference"

he smiled wide at her and nodded

"yes! the Oslo National Enterprise, ill be in attendance myself. Which category did you put in for?"

she smiled and instinctively reached up to hold the crucifix

"im in the realistic fiction, reading my story he is with me"

His eyes flashed with recognition

"youre kidding, so am I, I wrote a candid smile"

she shared the recognition, smiling wide and opening her mouth with excitement

"I read that one! your prose was excellent. I'm so glad you made it in to the final four for the contest. I cant believe I ran into you"

The dark skinned man interjected, his accent thick but still audible, and she kicked herself as she couldnt place it

"it is an awfully small world is it not? what a treat running into you two here"

The short man turned to look up at him

"oh, were you also in the contest?"

he shook his head

"oh no no, but I am a fan of hers, her work might be my absolute favorite"

sure enough, tucked under his arm was her debut novel a trusting father. She recognized the cover immediately, as she had long wrestled with choosing something that felt right.

In the modern age it was no easy task to glorify god AND attract a new readers attention, which is why she kicked herself when the analytics mentioned a lack of first time interest as reason number one for plummeting sales.

"wow! its so nice to meet a fan, I dont have all that many. Will you be attending the conference?"

He nodded, and sat down next to the short man

"I will, i cannot wait for you to read your story. It has always been paramount to my faith"

she put a hand to her heart and smiled

"well thats just so lovely to hear, are you a Christian as well?"

The other man interjected before he could answer

"i didnt realize your stories were based in faith? how long have you been a believer?"

she toiled with the thought a moment

"well, since always I guess, gosh I was saved so young"

The dark skinned man smiled and nodded

"it is a treat no? knowing him so young, and still looking up to him all these years later?"

she nodded

"he is the light of my life, never doubted him for a minute"

the short man spoke once more, stopping for a moment as the lights flickered and they dipped into a tunnel

"well, surely you've spent some time- Doubting? I mean doesn't everyone?"

The dark skinned man gave her a pointed look

"oh no, her faith has never waivered. Even when her mother died"

She brought her hand back up to the crucifix, she went to wrap her fingers around it, like she always did, but for some reason it felt hot to the touch. She winced and pulled her fingers back as the man continued talking

"you know, I remember when I first read a trusting father. I was so impressed by your captivating descriptions of hugging god and singing in his choir. It was like you actually knew him"

she interjected, stumbling a bit

"well I do, as much as anyone can-"

the other man interrupted

"well its not like you can know him, you can read the books and you can learn but how are you gonna get to know the hero of a fairy tale"

she looked at him with a sense of bitterness, before her smile returned

"im sorry, but its no fairytale, god is very much real"

the dark skinned man nodded and pointed

"he is, she is living proof. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to lose a mother, I never even had one and the thought of losing one if I had. is crushing"

her heart began to move faster, she had never written about the loss of her mother.

"well sure, but everyone loses people, they dont need god-"

the lights flickered again and the dark skinned man stuck his finger up

"ah careful friend, everyone needs god. Or have you not heard of demons?"

the lights stayed out for an entire minute this time as the car was lit by an unseen red emergency light, before the original fluorescents came back on and the other members of the car continued ignoring the present conversation. She scoffed and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself

"he is write, we all need god. Spiritual warfare is very real"

the tall dark skinned man stood back to his feet and pointed to her, she felt the crucifix grow hotter as he shared a smile

"she knows, for some it is an everyday battle not to become corrupted"

the shorter man seemed visually shaken as the tall dark skinned man put a strong hand on his shoulder

"have you ever prayed?"

he shook his head

"i have no need to. I dont think he could get me out of any situation I couldnt get myself out of"

She tried to shake her head but the world began closing in on her, and she felt like it was suddenly harder to breath.

"the lord is with me"

the lights went out again, and she felt the eyes of the tall man as he pointed once more, the crucifix nearly red hot

"see? she prays now because she knows-"

the lights flickered back on and the tall dark skinned man had moved his hand from the mans shoulder to the back of his necl

"she knows that her father HAS to watch out for her right now"

the short man looked her dead in the eyes, his fear growing intensely as sweat poured down his forehead

"our heavenly father-"

The tall dark skinned man made a loud whooping sound and laughed

"oh, it might be too late for that. lets see if you mean it? yes?"

He flexed his hand, gripping the mans neck with increased intensity, his arms unable to even move, paralyzed in fright as Lailah began to hyperventilate

"wait-"

the dark skinned man laughed and shook his head

"no no, Lailah I dont think he means it. can you save him?"

he squeezed harder and she watched as the short mans face began to grow red, she looked at the other passengers of the car, still wrapped up in their lives, unable to even comprehend what was happening just a few feet away

"Father please, be with me now, keep me safe from this-"

he squeezed harder on the mans neck, and suddenly the lights went out once more, the red overwhelming as she prayed harder

"lord look after me now in this my hour of need. Keep me safe from all evil"

The lights did not come back on, and she could just faintly make out the shape of the two men. There was an eerie nature to the red emergency light, and she found it moved with her eyes as she tried to break her gaze.

"lord, do not leave me as I face the enemy"

The lights came back on and she looked across the seats, the short man was slumped to the side as if sleeping. Her hand shot up to feel the crucifix had gone cold, and the dark skinned man was nowhere to be seen.

"welcome to Oslo, please exit carefully and take any belongings you embarked with"

she let out a sigh of relief and stood up, exiting the tram doors slowly as she felt her heart beat return to normal. She continued breathing softly as she prayed

"lord I ask that you'd keep me safe for the remainder of my trip, look after me and allow me to maintain composure, Amen"

She reached the conference center and smiled as they gave her a badge and guided her to the stage. Applause filled the room as she came out from behind the curtain and she waved with a smile. She approached the podium slowly and set her book down on the edge before opening it carefully and finding her spot in the page.

"People always asked me, how can someone so anxious remain calm when the world is so terrifying?"

She scanned the crowd below with a wide smile, before the lights flickered for a moment, and a red light from the center of the crowd illuminated a tall dark skinned man with a wide smile.