I told my family that I'll cutoff contact 'cause they are not good enough. AITAH?

This is gonna be a long one. A bit typical at times so please don't read if that bothers you.

I just needed to get this off somewhere.

I (18F) have a nuclear family consisting of my parents (54F and 56M), my grandmother (89F) and my sister (16F). Yesterday, I had an argument with my mother and I said, "I'll leave this house first chance I get 'cause this family is not worth it."

Sounds very typical, like a teenage rebel, I agree. But please hear me out if you've started reading.

I am from a middle class family with a very cliché story. Alcoholic father, a grandmother who agrees with whatever he does because "he is her son", and a mother who's too emotionally attached to her husband to say anything against it.

My mother is the breadwinner and my father only earns enough to buy alcohol and cigarettes for himself.

I did not realise when I was younger that I am from a dysfunctional family (that is what I call it now) and looked up to my father. I slept before my father came back home from work and even if I did hear anything, I'd ignore because "the adults are quarreling".

It was around the age of maybe 9 that I realised my father is abusive to my mother. Not to me or my sister but he is to my mother. I could not do anything given my age and frankly did not have courage enough to speak in front of the "man of the house".

I'd turn deaf to what is happening 'cause I am too young to be meddling.

My grandma supported my father even in his abuse, she is of the mindset that her son can never be wrong because he is a man. (She is very old but I don't know if that is enough to excuse her)

(My frustration with my parents and grandma started here.)

I hit puberty earlier than many, at the age of 10. Naturally, I also turned a bit conscious about my appearances. Spending more time in front of the mirror getting ready, getting picky about what I wear and what I don't.

My mother teased me about it from time to time 'cause she is herself a very low maintenance woman (She always was, even prior to her marriage). I laughed it off, she's my mother and this is all jokes.

My sister caught onto her and started calling me out every time I got ready. This means every single day for months. It turned from jokes to annoyance to a habit and grew to the point I started feeling horrible about wanting to put effort into myself because I have this person right beside me who will judge me if I do. ( I did not realise it at the time but this is probably where hate for my sister began).

I completely stopped putting any sort of effort into myself and I was way too young to realise how deep of an impact my sister's "jokes" were having on me.

Her "jokes" got worse with time as well but I'll refrain from writing them here because I don't want to relive that. (I have although talked about her fatshaming me later on).

Fast forward to when I turned 15. My sister hit puberty and naturally got conscious of herself. I gave her the same remarks she gave me and I assumed her reaction would be same as mine. (Again, my intention was not to hurt her, I thought there is nothing wrong with it at the time because she had been doing this to me for 5 years and just laughing it off).

But oh her reaction could not be further off than mine.

She started calling me names about how I am a jerk for trying to make her bad for caring about herself and that it is none of my business what she does or does not do. I have no right to speak to her.

I was very surprised (yes I have always been naive and also a loner at school so I did not have anyone to talk to at the moment. I did reach out to a teacher briefly later).

This was not the reaction I was expecting and when I pointed out that she used to say the same things to me, she'd simply roll her eyes and get back to whatever she was doing.

I took some time sorting out my feelings about this, even talked to a teacher at school. And I realised that my sister was the jerk in the situation and she shamed me for the previous 5 years. (Yes, this will sound stupid to most people but you don't realise things when they have been normalised in our surroundings since forever).

She fat shamed me, never calling me by my name, but instead calling me "fattie" and bragging about how thin her waist is.

For the record, I am not fat. Not even by societal standards. I have been reached out by girls at school asking how I "maintain my figure" because I am slim but still healthy. I am also good at sports.

Why my sister called me "fat" was because she is ridiculously thin (our family doctor's words, she is malnourished) and she knew those words would hurt me. (but I brushed them off as jokes for 6 years. 6 years. This wasn't even because I was naive anymore. I just hate confrontation on personal matters.)

When I was 16, I finally confronted my sister and pointed out her hypocrisy. They are jokes when she says it with a face that screams she definitely means every word. But it is not a joke when I say anything even if I do so while chuckling.

We got into an argument and she simply stormed out of the room.

After sometime, my mother started calling me "fattie" as well. It hurt me a lot. I know. I know it is not true but this is not a joke. And why are you even saying that?

I went to talk to her while she was working in the kitchen, she said, "You do have more to your body out of the two of you".

It only got worse from there on.

I tried to give my mother some leeway because she was putting up with straight up abuse from both my father and grandmother. She was also going through menopause through it all. But this whole situation was getting insane.

I approached my sister multiple times in order to sort this out. Telling her how I felt and that she should apologise. That we can make this work going forward if she earnestly said she is sorry. She would simply say "no" and ignore me as if she's done nothing wrong.

Going back for a minute to when I was 10 for context (it'll make sense later).

I started having acne when I hit puberty. My mother said, "they'll go away on their own, they are just a symptom of puberty". okay, fair. I said nothing.

Even when I was getting bullied at school for my terrible acne, I said nothing. Even when the other kids with acne were being taken to dermatologists and getting their acne treated within months, I said nothing. There was no use saying because my mother just got annoyed and said that, "I am making a deal out of something that will get better on its own eventually."

Gradually I got so used to seeing my face full of acne, I forgot what I looked like before I had them.

Why I told you about this is because two years after my sister hit puberty (I was 17), she also started getting pimples. But my mother's reaction was instant. Getting concerned because her pretty face had 2 zits and talking to neighbours and doctors for potential treatment.

I broke down.

7 years.

7 years, which were also my entire teenage, I had acne and was bullied for it (including my own sister who left no chance to call me ugly) and my mother did nothing but 2 zits on my sister's face were enough to make her act.

What made it worse? I used a few products suggested by doctors for my sister (not a smart decision but I still did it).

I saw a difference in 3 months. 3 months. There are acne scars that have been there for far too long to get better while my sister's face is now, all good.

There was another instance in the same year as to when both my sister and I got chicken pox. I'll tell more about it if anyone's interested.

Anyway, I started hating my mother. I already hated my sister very much by this point and my mother was now next to her.

I started not listening to her, telling her to ask her daughter to do chores for her because she definitely doesn't consider me as one. She has never once called my sister names, called me several times. And outright said that my sister is "cooperative" while I am just like my father (her abuser).

During these arguments, I'd just say, "ofcourse I'll take after my father, but so does your better daughter and it will come to bite you back when she stops listening to you."

Recently, what I said has starting getting real. My sister has gotten herself a boyfriend at the age of 16,

(now I know this is common in some places but where I am from, it is frowned upon to date before a legal age), gotten a phone addiction, has a friend group my parents don't approve of, stopped listening to my mother and gotten rebellious.

(I was never like that, every child acts out in their own way during teenage, I can be called socially quiet if that makes sense).

And what was my mother's reaction to it all?

Trying to talk it out to resolve it?

Of course not.

She started blaming me for my sister's behaviour. Saying that "she's learning by looking at me".

She blames me for her phone addiction (my mother has gotten addicted to watching dramas on phone herself) and says that "her daughter would never talk to her in a loud voice if not for me".

I did not force her, or you for that matter, to use mobile phone. (I think the addiction is just a consequence of lockdown)

I did not ask her to go against you.

And by your logic, I must have learned by looking at you and your husband. (She was hurt by my words and I felt a smidge of guilt but it went away quick because I had had enough)

So, yesterday, when we were having a big argument about me getting admission in a good college that is out of state, she brought up how I am an unfilial child and just want to get away.

I snapped.

I asked her why she even cared because she can just go to her better daughter and laughed about how that better daughter doesn't seem to care about her as much as she thought she did.

I also told her that I will not be passing up on an opportunity to go to such a good college for my own future and because I can't wait to get away from such a pathetic family. They are not good enough for me to reconsider my decision.

My mother's mood soured and she went inside her room. I heard her cry but I stormed out of the house to cool off my own head.

AITA for saying what I did?

I apologise for how long this is but I thought context is important. I'll answer any question I am comfortable answering but please tell me if I am "overreacting" like my family keeps telling me or are they just trying to manipulate me.

P.S. English is not my first language. Please look past any mistakes.