I found out my partner is addicted to porn, but I want to stay with him

# Backstory

Hi this is a bit of a long one sorry, but please I really REALLY need the help. I’ve never even used Reddit, I got it just for this. I’ve been with my bf for over 4 yrs since high school and have now found out he’s addicted to porn. My bf is the kindest and gentlest man I know, so I’m at least relived that after finding out that he’s been extremely apologetic and cooperative. He’s taken full accountability, but honestly I didn’t even think porn addiction was a real thing. I thought it was just for people who are lonely or perverted. But my boyfriend claims it “doesn’t even do anything for him” and that it’s just “a feeling I get in my chest” **is he lying?** Because this is definitely something he’s been lying to me about for our whole relationship. I asked very early on and told him I didn’t want the use of porn in a relationship. And anytime the topic came up he always said he hasn’t used it “since being with me”. He claims that this is something he’s dealt with since he was a kid before puberty even, he is now 21.

# Sex life

Now after a little research I see how it explains so much about our sex life. I’ve been complaining for over a year now, which we’ve been sexually active for a little less than three, that it feels like I always have to initiate intimacy. He would claim that he just has a “low drive” which I respected. I even went through so much research so I could understand it more and it’s taken me months to finally accept. Not only that but many times when we would have sex, we would stop because he couldn’t stay hard. He would say that he just got “distracted”. But now that I see he’s literally addicted to consuming all of this sexual content I’m heartbroken. **Am I just not attractive enough for him?** It really feels that way. He keeps saying that “nothing compares to being with me” and that it’s two very different things. But I’m not sure about that.

# What now

He now promises to work on it by doing the research and putting a stop to this habit. He really seems to mean it. But of course it’s hard to believe with all the lying before. I sort of broke up with him the night I found out, but I just love him so much and I want a future with him so I changed my mind. He’s got a great heart and is the sweetest man I know, I just never imagined he would be this way. Even now he’s so sweet and agreeing to anything possible. But even after all this, how do I begin to shake the pain of not being attractive enough? He says that I’m “beautiful” and “so pretty” but I feel uglier than I ever have. And as supportive as I’m trying to be, I can’t bear the thought that all of this is because he can’t fight the urge to look at naked girls that aren’t me.

# Final questions

So is he lying to me? Will it actually get better? How long will that take(We’ve been talking about future plans to be engaged next year)? And how/will I ever feel attractive again? I know that last one seems like it’s making it about me. I know this is unhealthy for him and I want to help. But I also want to finally feel desired, but also not feel like I’m just a downgrade from all the attractive girls he’s trying so hard not to see.