I’m very terrified of going to inpatient rehab but I know I need to.

Long story short; drinking will kill me if I don’t stop. I’ve been to the ER multiple times in my 29 years of life due to drinking related issues, but every time I get sober, somehow my brain convinces me that I can just be a casual drinker. I clearly cannot.

Can anyone on the other side of this please give me advice of how to go about finding a place that will help me? I feel so helpless and lost.