AIO for feeling this way

We’ve been together for almost two years now, and my boyfriend has always been good to me. He’s a genuinely great person—not just as my boyfriend, but also to his friends, family, and even strangers.

When we argue, it’s usually because of me. Most of the time, it’s over small, petty things. I tend to bring out my bad attitude toward him, but we also fix things quickly. We talk it out, I apologize, and we end up laughing about it. We never let a day end without resolving things.

But lately, something feels off—and I know a lot of it has to do with me.

I recently left my job, and since then, I haven’t felt like myself. I try to find things to keep me busy, but nothing really feels right. I feel like I don’t have a sense of purpose right now. It’s like I’m just waking up to get through the day, over and over again.

And now, when we spend time together, it doesn’t feel the same as before. It’s like we’re physically together, but not really connecting. At least, that’s how it feels to me. What confuses me is that I still want to be with him all the time—but when we are together, it feels empty.

Because of everything I’m going through, I end up taking it out on him. I get quiet, I stop engaging, and I get irritated easily. It’s like I’m consumed by this feeling of having no direction, and it spills into our relationship. I really am the problem in our relationship.

It might also be because our love languages are different. Mine is quality time, and his is physical touch. For him, even short moments together are enough. But for me, it’s not just about being together—it’s about feeling connected. We’ve talked about this, and I think we understand each other, but the time we spend still doesn’t feel like real “quality time” to me. It feels like we’re just side by side, doing our own things.

Recently, he got upset because of my sudden mood changes. I told him that I don’t feel motivated or happy about anything lately. He responded with something like, “See? You finally said it, you’re not happy with our relationship anymore.”

But that’s not what I meant. Not everything I’m feeling revolves around us. Still, he said it’s part of it, and I just said “okay.” He said “okay” too.

I was about to open up more, but I stopped myself. I felt like he wouldn’t understand, or worse, that it would turn into me being blamed for being “too problematic” and ruining what we have. So I stayed quiet. He kept messaging me for a while, but I didn’t reply anymore.

The next day, I didn’t message him at all. He still sent updates about his day at first, but when I didn’t respond for hours, he eventually stopped too.

We live in the same city, and I don’t know if it’s wrong for me to feel hurt that he didn’t call, didn’t come over, didn’t check on me more. Because if it were the other way around, I know I would’ve done everything to reach him.

It’s also so unusual of us not to talk for an entire day. We usually update each other about everything, even the smallest things.

I don’t know… I just feel lost right now—in myself, and somehow, in us too.