18F Architecture student looking for some company tonight after a really rough serving shift and a bad week.

I am honestly just looking for some friends to talk to tonight because I feel incredibly isolated. I am an 18 year old girl studying architecture and I just got off a horrible double shift waitressing. I am so stressed trying to afford the CAD software I need for my classes next week and my mind is just racing.

I also recently got out of a relationship with an older ex boyfriend who really destroyed my confidence. I am going through a goth phase right now wearing dark makeup and black lace but I am also a competitive swimmer. He used to tell me my swimmer shoulders made me look manly and that my dark aesthetic made me look like an unlovable freak. So now I just hide my body under big dark oversized clothes so people do not stare at me.

The saddest part is that underneath the dark clothes my actual biggest dream in life is to be a traditional wife and a young mom. He told me no guy would ever want to start a family with a weird girl who plays chess alone in her room all day. I have been feeling so hideous and lonely lately.

If anyone wants to talk about architecture or chess or just distract me from my thoughts I would really appreciate a friend tonight. I am just laying in bed trying not to cry so a kind voice would mean a lot to me.