Lover of grindy games, please help

I love grindy games that both take a long time and take genuine effort / skill to play through and are nail biters. I know most people hate these kinds of games at least in casual commander. Most of my playgroups and LGS randoms despite having playing for a while tend to stay at casual levels and brew up more creative ideas in bracket 2 (which I do sometimes enjoy) or low bracket 3 but it doesn’t scratch that deep itch when if feels like simply bringing blue to the table makes you a target, or playing a Stax piece that is meaningful but doesn’t totally shut down the table is still immediately target #1.

Curious if anyone else shares my view and has any suggestions. The only two I’ve heard is to play more 60 card (and I do a little bit) or bracket 4 or CEDH but I don’t think the the latter really solves the problem for commander. I’m not as interested in the escalation of power level and one-upmanship or games that end so quickly to combo. Maybe I just need to find better people to play with but that’s easier said than done.