I miss my ex help :(

As the title says, I miss my ex. It’s been almost a year but they’re all I still thinking about. I’ve tried seeing other people, they’re still who I think about. Heck even trying to get myself off, I think about them.

I think the worst part about all this is that they drew the line the last time we talked that they don’t even want to be friends with me anymore. It really sucks :(

I mean I know it’s my fault for being avoidant but not doing anything about it. I went as far as running away from my own relationship when they were trying to get us to the next step of our relationship. I feel so bad that I didnt do anything about how I was.

I feel like I just wont meet anyone as lovely as them. I miss my best friend. I miss everything about them. Some days I just see something or anything happens and I still think “my ex would think this is funny.” Its crazy.

I feel like I’m going crazy here. It was my first time dating someone nonbinary and because it’s always just been fems or even men. I feel like i just keep looking for them in everyone.