We’ve been together for 1.5 year (24F, 26M), he even proposed to me in august, we’ve been living together for a year now. A week ago he confessed he’s been watching porn (instead of touching me, kissing me or any type of physical intimacy). 

I’ve been feeling like he is not attracted to me anymore, so I cried to him a few times about it, and eventually when I said, I am going to end this relationship if something doesn’t change, he confessed.

He’s been saying he just always sees me the same way etc and I thought that I was the problem, turns out I was wrong. From the beggining of the relationship I said porn is disrespectful to me, and I don’t want it involved in my romantic relationship or my partner. He knew it and we’ve had several conversations about it, he even bragged about how he’s not watching it since we’ve met, I even asked him a couple of times the last few months, if this is something that he’s not telling me about and he said straight into my eyes, it’s not. So he’s been lying to my face this whole time. 

We’ve had conversations about it, he explained everything, so I forgave him, but I’m still not sure about it. Honesty is my most important value so I don’t know how he could do that. He’s the sweetest person, he’s definitely my person and I know how much he loves me but this shit fucked me up.

I’ve been goint to therapy for half a year now but since this conversation happened I’ve been so sad and I lost my self-esteem. I wanted to break up with him but I just can’t. Our relationship has gotten so much better in the past 1.5 weeks and I know he wants to change. He booked a psychologist as well, we always talk about it if I want to, he’s understanding, honest and I finally feel like he’s soooo attracted to me. 

Idk. This life thing is so hard. Anyway this is my girl dinner

Found out my bf has been secretely an adult content addict