Should I expect romance, dates, or help cleaning our home, from my working husband? He says those are great things to strive for, but few get there.

I don't work outside the home, I do the office work for his business. I homestead (20 chickens, 1200 sq ft of gardens from seed, I can & freeze harvest) I also help my elderly mom, and do all our yard work, the cooking & cleaning.
I use to home school our 5 children.
Outside of "helping me" every once in a while, he doesn't do anything and says hes fine living with mess, if I want it cleaner, then I can do it. Im exhausted and lonely. Then I feel guilty for not appreciating what I do have.
Thoughts??