Everyone including your parents will see you as lesser if you are ugly

Just now my mom told me “you should study because you can’t be dumb and not pretty”. I mean she isn’t wrong but damn.

Im kind of unconventional looking. Not ugly enough to be scared of, but ugly enough that people don’t respect me enough to text back, get disappointed in face reveals, just push me aside and stuff like that. I’ve been ghosted enough times to never show my face on social media again.

I get it, if there’s no spark, there’s no spark. I don’t want people to respect me as an ugly person, I want to be an attractive person and be respected. Ive reached a point where I turn the lights off in the bathroom and squint my eyes in public bathrooms, and I feel like my puffy, masculine, round face is really fucking my life up. I will never be desired and deserve nothing.

I even got nerfed with severe acne and am fortunately on my ninth day of accutane, but there’s something my family doesn’t want to admit- I’d still be kind of ugly without acne. Obviously i would be less ugly, but i would barely be a 6/10. (Right now 2-3 because of purge) Honestly, if the accutane doesn’t work after a year, I’m just going to let go. I mean it. All of this bullshit I’m going through just outweighs any reason for me to stay.

I feel really bummed and hideous right now. It’s like we don’t deserve anything because we’re ugly.