Coworker & misunderstandings?

Hi everyone.

For context been told numerous times to be evaluated for autism. I have been in therapy and had psychologist for years but labeled simply adhd. We have numerous diagnosed autistic people in my direct family including my brothers.

Chances are I’m probably being mislabeled but this is also about a coworker and Is interactions.

My daughters have different fathers. My coworker is an accountant and she’s overall nice. But she says things that most people wouldn’t say and this also could be me being sensitive or not as socially aware idk. I’m going to explain what’s been happening and maybe you can let me know if it’s me if I need to be more aware socially or if this was very blunt.

She has told me things such as “I don’t know how you can go two days without seeing your daughter”

“Well I’m not going to do it that way (I was trying to lessen her workload)” “do you DoorDash every day?” Like the door dash week I was really struggling to get ready and make it to work on time so lunch got put to the side. My mom was disabled and an addict and never really showed me a functioning in society lifestyle.

She’ll come tell me things and make it seem like a problem and then when I dig for more info she makes it seem like that’s how things have always been.

Like for example when I make the office supply order and it arrives she runs to my office to tell me someone else put it away. I let her know I get email alerts (like everyone does from Amazon) but I’m busy and I’ll get to it when I can. I asked if I should let those know that are putting it away that they don’t have to. And that’s when she tells me they’ve always done it. I’m so confused what’s the point of making a big deal out of it?

She asks about my daughter who struggles emotionally in development. Then haves me weird looks because our kids are the same age but are very different.

It just seems like she’s constantly judging me or making rude remarks. I wish I could explain her personality a little better. She comes off an autistic woman very ridged and maybe not understanding these things can be interpreted as rude. Should I not be making assumptions? I know reditt tears people up please give me some grace as life has not been kind to me lately. I’m just looking for advice and support.