Research in solitude

I have a friend I met 18 years ago. I consider her a kind person who cares about others. We've always supported each other through difficult times. I truly trust her and allow myself to be vulnerable with her.

The thing is, in recent years I've dedicated myself to studying human interaction and psychology as an autistic and gifted person. Let's just say that for me, it's instinctive to apply pattern recognition when I observe and listen to people.

In recent months, I've talked to her about my "discoveries" regarding Cluster B personality disorders, a topic that deeply interests me. She thinks that because I tend to talk about this subject that interests me, I'm obsessed, and she tells me I should talk to a psychologist. I reply that she's probably experiencing my autistic traits and that actually, hyperfocusing on a topic makes me happy. I told her I could mask if it really bothered her.

I can spend months or years interested in a topic, learning a new detail fascinates me. I want expert-level knowledge. This is actually normal in a gifted person.

From the outside, this seems to be seen as an obsession. If I don't dedicate myself to researching what interests me, I feel unmotivated. It angered me that she said I need psychological help for wanting to research a topic so much, she thinks I do it because I'm traumatized.

This made me feel like I really should enjoy research on my own, and it made me feel very lonely. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not with most people. The solution would be to study another university degree, but I can't do that right now.